what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
