Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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