i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize