did you get engaged???
someone threw a dead crab at me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
