I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize