Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
