I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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