Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize