my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
