How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
