Where is the hickey?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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