Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
