im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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