I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
honey bunches of taint.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
