Don't you send me to vm
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
