your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
