Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
