Well apparently he's into motor boating.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
