just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
