I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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