You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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