just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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