Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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