I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
