we have pet lesbian snakes
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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