Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
