he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
