So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize