they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
