Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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