How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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