my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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