I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
