So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
