I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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