Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
