when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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