so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
