Soap is not a condiment
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
