There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
