I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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