I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
