Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
