it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize