Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
