Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
