i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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