I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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