we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
