mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
