I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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