Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize