Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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