you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
