Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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