absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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