Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
