Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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