Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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