Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
