Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry lDrew hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(913): View more from Kansas

farters have to be the big spoon...

Fav 6 1134 2988
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(618): View more from Illinois

so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?

Fav 15 5137 1020
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.

Fav 77 7601 2116
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.

Fav 26 5754 1933
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(740): View more from Ohio

well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.

Fav 12 4859 1147
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(914): View more from New York

Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?

Fav 8 2346 1139
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(845): View more from New York

one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down

Fav 5 2082 1080
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(330): View more from Ohio

Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!

Fav 1 1164 523
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(208): View more from Idaho

The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO

Fav 4 160 293
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