i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
